Hot Times on Reel Rebels Radio – Ride Your Pony!

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Pinterest is taking me over

Pinterest is influencing what I write: my obsession with using it as an aid to writing has led to boards on works in progress. I find myself describing the pins in my book, incorporating them into the story. It’s a Storyboard. Perhaps it’s the hand of God.

I’m currently working on two fictionalisations: The Paris Years of Elias Habash and Travels with my Language: they’re featured here among other wips and boards of interest but Click my name or ‘See on Pinterest‘ to look at boards, as clicking individual pictures below does weird things – or perhaps it’s just me:

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Oh, poo!


AUTHOR MEMBER The Alliance of Independent Authors — Author Member

My heart sinks to my boots…a very disappointing result on my freebie Kindle version of August 3/4 – only 90. That frenzy of social networking was hardly worth the effort, I’m afraid. However, on a more positive note, paperbacks have been steadily selling when I do this myself. Perhaps the old way is best. Having totally underestimated the number that would go at the launch, I ordered 50 more and they almost all went at a local reading which I wasn’t even signed up to do; I just sort of insinuated myself. Business makes you pushy, inevitably. No; I’m misleading you: I was already pushy. I also gave away three on the tube and train via the ‘Books on the Underground’ scheme just by chatting to people who were already carrying a book.

Still regretting not having some, well loads of, dishonestly acquired reviews, rather than waiting for genuine ones to appear. Oh dear; business also makes you unethical. Well, of course it does. I have one more genuine 5 star review on the AskDavid site. Here it is:

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Fabulous Book Party but, Phew! Glad it’s over.

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Don’t you wish you’d been there – at the Anchor & Hope, River Lea yesterday? Everyone had a great time and the weather was perfect – not hot, not cold and it didn’t rain. I sold all the books I had and could have sold them more than twice over: this was a surprise. There is no better sight than the angry scowl of someone who was too late to get a copy. It was free on Kindle all day so I had to keep Tweeting, which was short-sighted of me but, on the positive side, stopped me from eating too much of the lovely food, prepared and served by Siobhan and Tom. Music supplied by ‘The Walking Wounded’: Hospitality by Pat, the landlady and her family.

Onwards and upwards: next stop – Paris in the 50s. Follow my board ‘Work in Progress: his Paris years’ for storyboard:

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Walking towards the light

Actually, I’m already out of the tunnel. All over now bar the result of my two day Kindle promotion. If you would like to read the book, ‘Hot Times in Goa’ by Linda Banana, you can download it in the US at
and, in the UK: but I’m afraid it’s not currently free. However, although I can’t bring myself to ‘give it away’ at 99c or even 99p, it won’t break the bank.

What a marathon! Time to start again. Next book will be totally different. Instead of sex n drugs n rock n roll in India, it’s going to be sex n drugs n rock n roll in the Middle East. My experience is nothing if not eclectic. The writing is well underway but, as I’ve discovered, the writing is the easy part.

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Kindle grumbles

Update: June 3, 2013
I made a few mistakes with the formatting; OK, but there’s one thing about the Kindle version that I can’t do anything about and that’s the size of the various devices and readers’ chosen font. Chapter headings often appear at the bottom of a page on my Kindle but on bigger ones they don’t. Ho hum.

Now other gripes from the original post:
‘The feature “Look Inside the Book” is automatically enabled.’ (italics my own)

With reference to yesterday’s premature ejaculation – ‘Goal!’, this was the point of contention: ‘automatically’ does not mean ‘immediately’, although it does imply it. No? Oh, well.

Credibility: there’s another fine word. Frequently goes with ‘have lost all’. As a LinkedIn contact pointed out, ‘Credibility is the only currency in this business.’ Meaning the business of promoting a book, not the money side. So, have I? (lost all credibility) I’ve announced on every platform on which I have a presence that the book will be free today, tomorrow and Sunday but, because of the mix-up over the meaning of ‘automatically enabled’, that’s not gonna happen. The ‘Look Inside’ feature is available on the print version page but to access it requires multiple clicks and potential readers easily give up if access is difficult or long.

Many Twitter followers retweeted my original announcement but I think I’m being optimistic to expect them now to retweet my retwaction. However, as I’m constantly reminded, it’s not a book I’m selling, it’s myself and part of myself is this bumbling fool who acts impulsively and gets things wrong.

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‘Goal’ turned into ‘own goal’

Yes; I spoke too soon, jumped the gun, ran away with myself. False alarm: an unexpected glitch is now preventing ‘Hot Times in Goa’ from being free as promised. Not just yet, anyway. I was going to say, ‘I don’t want to bore you with details…’ but that’s all I’ve done on this blog page and sort of what it’s all about so I will.

As you all no doubt know, Amazon has a feature, ‘Look Inside’ the book. This feature needs to be enabled as who’s going to buy a book without reading a sample? The info on Kindle Direct says that if this feature is enabled for the print version it is automatically enabled for the Kindle version if that comes second, as mine did. But, a kind well-wisher, Larry Constantine, drew my attention to the fact that this feature was not enabled in my Kindle version. He told me via LinkedIn so that’s the end of my scepticism about that site.

I’ve contacted Amazon and now there’s another wait while they find out what the problem is. Fortunately I found this out just before the deadline to cancel the ‘free book’ feature of Kindle Select. OK; if you haven’t been through all this yourself, this will be a very boring post. If you’ve been through it successfully I bow to your superiority. Straight up: no sarcasm. I mean it.

When I started this blog – last December, was it – I thought I was just weeks away from seeing the book on the Amazon shelves. What a joke!

Today, I reported on FB and Twitter that I’d achieved two firsts today: published a book and put together a garden bench from a flatpack. For a laugh I invited people to say which was the greatest achievement: turns out it was the bleedin’ bench. Fuck.

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